How do you know if you feel a spark with someone?
A spark is an emotional connection that you feel with someone you’re romantically interested in.
For some, it’s an intense, unexplainable feeling that comes over them as soon as they meet someone. For others, a spark is something that needs to be created.
That being said, here’s how to know if you share a romantic connection and how you can further develop it.
Do you feel like you’ve met “the one?”
It may have started after you met at a social event or through a friend. Your polite greetings and exchange of interests quickly turned into a conversation you couldn’t pull away from.
Throughout the encounter, you felt this unexplainable chemistry. However, you’re not sure if you’re simply overthinking things. So, you ask yourself questions like,
Is being drawn to someone I just met normal?
Why do I feel a strong connection with someone I just met?
It can feel overwhelming trying to figure out the answer. But it all boils down to your natural emotional connection.
Not everyone is lucky enough to experience that with a person they just met. So the concept might sound hard to believe. However, there are signs to determine whether this applies to you or not.
People say that no one knows you better than yourself. Oftentimes, your family, friends, and colleagues only know the version of you that you wish to project.
Some of them can see past that. But that’s because they’ve probably known you for your whole life or half of it.
For someone you’ve just known, such a thing can seem impossible. At best, they’ll only be able to know basic information about you.
However, for someone with whom you have a natural connection, it can feel like you’ve known each other since the beginning of time.
You feel that they know and understand your needs and goals.
It can also be that they helped you discover something new about yourself, such as newfound values, mannerisms you didn’t know you had, and much more.
Being deeply connected with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you share a lot of similarities. You can be different in more ways than one.
However, your differences aren’t a barrier.
You may have contrasting points of view, but you don’t let your judgmental tendencies take control. Instead, you make it a point to listen to each other.
Either you end the topic having gained a new perspective or agree that you each beg to disagree.
Even if you end up with the latter, there are no hard feelings.
At some point in life, you may have met people who tried to bring you down because of jealousy.
However, there’s no room for jealousy to grow when you’re with someone you have a natural emotional connection with.
Instead, you’ll be able to see that they’re genuinely happy for your success. Moreover, you’ll feel that they’ll be able to offer you support that will allow you to reach greater heights.
What’s next?
Now that you’ve confirmed that your unexplainable chemistry stems from your natural emotional connection, do you just leave it as it is? Or should you try to nurture it?
The latter is always the better option.
As easy as you’ve acquired the connection, it’s also easy for you to lose it. So learn to nurture emotional depth to further strengthen your bond.
We tend to make less of an effort once we’ve fallen into a comfortable routine. When that happens, what once were exciting moments can turn into dull activities.
Get out of your comfort zone and continue engaging in activities that allow you to grow individually.
Instead of your usual dinner date, for example, surprise them with an impromptu out-of-town date coupled with gifts such as food and flowers.
Once you spend most of your time with someone, it’s easy to take things for granted. You become content with your current setup that you have now forgotten to express your feelings.
However, this may lead them to question whether your interest and connection with them have faded.
Let them know how much they mean to you through your words and actions.
Give them daily affirmations. It can be something along the lines of “You look good today,” or “I’m grateful to have you.”
Your natural emotional connection allows both of you to feel comfortable in each other’s presence. But it’s not a reason to push each other’s boundaries.
Be mindful of where they draw the line with you given your current status and respect it.
If you want to take things further with them, like initiating physical intimacy, always ask for consent.
If they say no, don’t pressure them. Take this as an opportunity for them to develop their trust in you and feel secure in your presence.
Despite already feeling deeply connected, make an effort to continue getting to know them.
Ask questions that prompt them to answer something beyond their surface-level interests. You can also initiate conversations regarding their past experiences or goals.
As you do so, try to actively listen and engage. You can comment on certain parts of their answers or ask follow-up questions. However, avoid dominating the conversation and shifting the focus towards you.
In the concept of give-and-take, when one person keeps on giving without receiving anything in return, you’ll expect them to eventually stop.
Don’t let them feel like they’re the only one contributing to the conversation. Try to share something about yourself as well. It can be your passions, past struggles, or vulnerabilities.
Regardless of whatever you choose, letting them know something substantial about you makes them feel trustworthy. Moreover, it allows them to also relate to you on a deeper level.
Although emotional connection comes naturally for others, it’s something that some struggle to develop even though they’re already in a relationship.
With that said, are you connected with your partner?
Feelings can be complicated, so it can be a struggle to find the answer.
However, you can rely on these two signs to determine whether or not there’s a lack of emotional connection in the relationship.
Do you feel lonely even with your partner around?
For some couples, their busy schedules keep them from spending quality time with each other. In that case, it’s only normal that one partner or both will feel disconnected from the other.
However, if you feel lonely despite always being around your partner, it’s a sign that you lack emotional connection in your relationship. It’s likely that they haven’t been giving you enough attention or affection to satisfy your emotional needs.
Do you ever feel like your partner doesn’t get you?
It’s common for misunderstandings to arise in a relationship. But if your differences outweigh your similarities and there’s no empathy involved, you can end up feeling misunderstood.
It’s like watching your partner drift away until they’re out of reach.
What can you do to reignite the romance and feel emotionally connected to your partner?
Learn how to build emotional connection in your relationship with these tips.
When communicating with your partner, especially during arguments, it can be difficult to express your thoughts for fear that you’ll be criticized for them. As a result, you both end up ignoring the problem instead of facing it head-on.
To navigate the situation and feel emotionally connected to each other, both of you must agree to create a safe space for communication.
Doing so requires you and your partner to set ground rules. This includes not interrupting the person talking, giving each other opportunities to explain, and refraining from judgmental, passive-aggressive, or overly critical responses.
Also, set aside a time where both of you can ask for clarification. This way, you can ensure that everything has been cleared up once the conversation ends, leaving no room for further misunderstandings.
Creating this safe space removes the consequences of “mind-reading,” wherein instead of telling your partner about your feelings, you try to make them guess. Hence, creating frustration and tension in the relationship.
However, remember that as you practice creating a safe space, don’t just let their feelings pass through one ear and out the other. Learn to hold accountability to make your emotional connection in the relationship better.
“Do you love me?”
“How do I look?”
Does your partner often ask you these questions?
If so, recognize that these are their bids for connection. For example, if your partner constantly asks if you love them, it’s most likely they’re requesting your affection. Whereas when they ask how they look, it likely means that they want your attention.
These bids for connection are subtle. However, the way you respond to them can greatly affect your relationship.
Instead of responding defensively, being critical, or ignoring them, respond to them positively by initiating intimacy, sharing their excitement, or encouraging them to talk more.
When you were still courting your partner, didn’t you just love how exciting it was? When you asked them out for a date, wasn’t it thrilling not knowing how they would respond?
As the one who’s doing the chasing, it makes you feel euphoric whenever they give you a positive response. Meanwhile, for your partner, it makes them feel wanted.
So continue the thrill of the chase to fill the lack of emotional connection in your relationship.
But this time, rather than simply surprising them with flowers or taking them out on a lunch date, base your actions on what your partner needs.
For example, if they’re currently stressed because of work, ask them out for a spa date. Or, if a film series you know they love is showing in cinemas, take them out for a movie date or have a movie marathon at your house.
If you’re in a long distance relationship, physical distance may be one of the reasons why you feel a lack of emotional connection in the relationship.
But just as it’s a problem for many long distance couples, some were able to take it as an opportunity to have a deeper bond with their partner.
This means that there’s still hope for you to reconnect and stay in touch despite being miles apart. Here are some ideas you can try out.
Although video calls are a means for you to connect, they can also highlight the distance between you and your partner. It’s also easy to run out of topics to talk about.
Moreover, it’s difficult to relate to your partner’s experiences when you’re not sharing the moment with them.
As a compromise, start setting up virtual dates. Keep yourselves engaged and continue to create new moments together.
Instead of the usual online movie marathon, go for a virtual picnic date.
Bring your laptop or phone to a nearby park. Set the scene just as you would if your partner was physically there with you.
Similarly, your partner should follow suit and have their own picnic set up.
It helps to get creative with how you spend time with each other, even if it’s through a phone or video call.
In a long distance relationship, it’s hard to feel loved when all you receive are romantic words of affirmation.
Make it a point to send love to your partner in the form of a care package. Put in their favorite local chips, your printed pictures together, or their favorite album.
You can also make a care package that’s focused on you, such as sending over your favorite jacket, a copy of the book you’re currently reading, pictures you recently took, and notes expressing your thoughts. This way, your long distance partner will feel closer to you.
Because of the distance, it’s easy to feel like the other person is fine without you physically being there for them.
In this case, establish and maintain an emotional connection with your partner by creating plans for the future that includes them.
It can range from long term goals like marriage and creating a family or short term ones like a holiday vacation or a trip to their favorite local spot once they visit your city.
Although not all of these plans will be immediately fulfilled, it at least tells them that you miss them and are looking forward to meeting them again
As mentioned, a spark or a connection is something that can be created. If you’re a single man who wants to win the heart of the woman you’re interested in, you only need to do two things.
Knowing how to emotionally connect with a woman involves knowing what she wants in a relationship. And for every woman, the answer to that is trust.
Going into something serious, she would want to make sure that you’re not with her simply for the thrill or for pleasure.
Earn her trust by demonstrating how well you’re willing to commit to being in a relationship. Be straightforward about your interests and expectations.
More importantly, give her reassurance of your loyalty by investing time and effort in your relationship with her. Or, if she’s comfortable with it, introduce her to your family, friends, and colleagues as the woman you’re interested in.
Women want their man’s undivided attention.
Make sure to set aside time to spend with her. You can go on group hangouts, but the goal is to create intimate moments that you can share. A group setting isn’t the best setup for that.
Also, remember to be present whenever you’re spending quality time together.
Avoid constantly checking your phone or focusing on anything that isn’t her. Instead, learn to listen and engage in conversation.
Moreover, try to notice and comment on things about her, such as the outfit she wore on your date or her cute mannerisms.
Regardless of whether you found “the one,” are in a relationship, or are currently single, it’s important to know how to establish an emotional connection and maintain it.
After all, it’s not just a bond. It’s the very foundation of your relationship. It helps determine your future as to whether you’re going to remain in each other’s lives or not.
Ask yourself, are you connected with your certain someone?
If yes, then nurture it and keep things exciting and your love alive.
If not, take this as a sign to bring back the spark and reignite the flame in both of your hearts.
